In your post, you need to write a GREAT thesis statement. If you need a reminder of how to do that, here is the link for that video.
Constructing a thesis statement
After that, you will write your fully developed, awesome paragraph with transitions.
Here is the link to that video
Writing a paragraph that supports a line of reasoning
BTW, the time zone is wrong on this, so when you post your response, it will be three hours off! But any turned in after the designated time will be given partial credit and I will not make comments. I am happy to give feedback, but in order to do that, it has to be finished on time. If you work at night and need an extension, I can make arrangements for that. Thanks so much. Do a great job. The harder you work, the smarter you get! Going for a 100% pass rate this year!
By using stories and appealing to the audience’s emotions, Richard Louv convinces Americans that technology is causing them to lose their connection with nature.
ReplyDeleteOne way Louv employs emotions to further his argument about this separation is by evoking nostalgia in the readers. Towards the end of the passage (lines 43-73), Louv talks about the way Americans, including his readers, used to pass time before “multimedia entertainment products.” For example, he states, “‘We actually looked out the car window.’ In our useful boredom we used our fingers to draw pictures on the fogged glass as we watch the telephone poles tick by. We saw birds on the wires and combines in the fields” (lines 61-65). By using these types of examples, Louv connects with his audience, so naturally, they begin to side with him. In addition, when the audience reminisces on their childhood without today’s advanced technology, they’ll begin to realize that they turned out just fine without all the extra tech. Moreover, they’ll see that perhaps all this technology isn’t so necessary, especially if it’s costing them their connection with nature. With these techniques, Louv successfully uses nostalgic emotions to sway the audience into agreeing that technology is pulling the nation away from the beauty of the outdoors.
Okay! You definitely answer the prompt and it is clear. You make a claim in your paragraph and do a good job supporting it with evidence from the text! I also think you have just the right amount of commentary in there to show that you were able to interpret Louv's argument and define his purpose. And to answer the few questions you had, you can use first and second person pronouns in this essay, but the sample you have written here feels nice and formal without them there, so maybe stick with what you know. Also, writing two paragraphs that focus on "before and after a shift" is a great way to structure a rhetorical analysis essay, particularly when it separates the excerpt like it did in the "Nerd" passage with "enough is enough". Of course it will depend on the reading, but it is a good strategy. Nice job here! Really nice job!
DeleteIdea Driven Thesis
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ReplyDeleteBy playing up sarcasm and nostalgia, utilizing logical examples, and asking rhetorical questions, Richard Louv strikes his audience with the loss of connection today’s society has from nature.
ReplyDeleteTo demonstrate the large gap between the present society and nature, Louv uses a surge of sarcastic and nostalgic examples. Louv highlights this when he notes how nowadays children have the chance to watch any shows they want in their car rides, or play video games, even violent ones, all in the midst of not bothering their parents, or the driver in front of them (Lines 39-42). Additionally, Louv ends his argument with a paragraph where he combines sarcasm and nostalgia of the past, noting, “‘Yes,’ we’ll say, ‘it’s true. We actually looked out of the car window’”(Lines 61-62). He goes on to note past experiences he had in the car rides when he was young, and in doing this, he also adds how his younger self and those around him would look at the horizon with a type of “reverence” (Lines 67-68). Louv’s examples obviously show this breach between nature and society through his experiences as a child, because he compares how he would stare out at the horizon in which they as kids idolized. He also expressed how the present day child is too engulfed in their screens, even in cars that were once a time to see the world as kids. However, he jokingly remarks that kids do not even understand that it is possible to look at nature during a car ride. Furthermore, Louv’s key usage of sarcasm and nostalgia helps prevail his idea and stance on the damage that technology has bestowed upon the relationship between society and nature.
Great thesis. I like how you have sarcasm and nostalgia together, and the thesis is nice and loaded so it is setting you up to be able to write a really thorough essay. Yes, he is nostalgic, and he uses that nostalgia to contrast his youth with the children of new technology. He also hits the reader, he calls the reader out, so to speak. Keeping the kids quiet in the back of the car is a copout. I think he is being sarcastic with the reader, about their children. You do a nice job embedding the quotes. If your topic sentence was more like, Louv uses nostalgia to create a baseline by which he contrasts the old times with the new reality which places him in a position to sarcastically, yet honestly point out the short sightedness of relying on technology to keep kids quiet, it might have felt a little more controlled. That being said, its a really good paragraph. Getting the nostalgia and the sarcasm to work together is tricky, but it's awesome that you wrote about both of them in this one paragraph.
DeleteIdea driven thesis, but you fell into listing the strategies.
DeleteBy connecting to the audience’s experiences and inviting them to share in his nostalgia, Richard Louv projects his message that humans need to reconnect with the natural world, and step away from the technology that is quickly enslaving society.
ReplyDeleteAnother way Louv deepens the personal aspect of his argument is by using a nostalgic tone combined with precise syntax to help the audience consider the appeal of a world far less focused on technology. In the last paragraph, he combines this tone with the repetition of the word “We” to make this section stand out as being wistful, yet bold at the same time. For instance, he writes, “We were fascinated with roadkill,” (lines 65-66) shortly followed by, “We stared with a kind of reverence at the horizon, as thunderheads and dancing rain moved with us.” (lines 67-69). Louv catches the attention of his readers by romanticizing things like roadkill and thunderstorms with vocabulary such as “fascinated”, and “reverence”. He forces a new perspective by employing imagery that contrasts automatic connections typically made with such ideas. This consideration brings a taste of the nostalgia felt by the writer to the audience, giving them something to desire, contemplate, or relate to. Undoubtedly, Louv is successful in making his point for reconnection with nature in this segment. He does so not by shutting down the value of technology, but by expanding upon the appeal of the way things used to be.
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ReplyDeleteA nice, bold thesis that is spot on! And your paragraph is, indeed, great. You do a nice job unfolding his artful approach to appealing to pathos here. Pointing out the nostalgia and then focusing on word choice and placement. It really, really works well. Fantastic Kara!
DeleteIdea driven thesis
DeleteBy Richard Louv crafting an essay that shifted tone and confronted his readers nostalgia, he successfully developed an argument that convinces Americans they need to reconnect with nature.
ReplyDeleteOne of the ways Louv gets his message through to the audience is by playing on their nostalgia. He does this by shifting from past to future, which shows how dramatically life and childhood is being affected by society's focus on technology. For example, he writes “ But for a century, children’s early understanding of how cities and nature fit together was gained from the back seat” (lines 48-50). This line is then further developed, as he discusses the simplicity life used to hold. By giving a detailed explanation of what a car ride used to entail, he is showing readers what future generations children will miss out on. He than further develops the effectiveness of showing the past by shifting to the future. Louv says “ Perhaps we’ll someday tell our grandchildren stories about our version of the nineteenth-century conestaga wagon ( lines 57-59). This line is subtly dramatic, for the purpose of showing the readers what children could grow up like. For instance, today’s children are out of touch with nature, but are not completely detached from enjoying a moment without technology. Louv’s emphasis on children eventually becoming completely out of touch with nature concludes the essay in a way that shows Americans need to make a change.
Maybe instead of "confronted" you could say "appealed to nostalgia.
DeleteI really, really like the first sentence of your paragraph. Pointing out the shift from past to future really does help support your analysis. When your embed the quote about the conestoga wagon, I think it might work better to admit that he is appealing to pathos, the feelings of the grown ups who will have kids who have NO stories, who have NO memories that involve nature. This is a really good paragraph Megan. Your analysis is good, and you do a nice job supporting your point.
Idea driven thesis
DeleteBy making use of nostalgia, rhetorical questions, sarcasm and vivid examples, Louv connects with his audience and excellently projects his message that people need to step back from modern day technology and reconnect with nature.
ReplyDeleteOne way that Louv connects emotionally with his audience is through the use of nostalgic examples. The use of nostalgia found throughout the piece helps him to connect with those reader who, like him, grew up without the technology that we have today. “We held out little plastic cars against the glass and pretended that they, too, were racing toward some unknown destination. We considered the past and dreamed of the future, and watched it all go by in the blink of an eye” (lines 69-73) is a great example of how Louv put nostalgia into play. The final paragraph as a whole demonstrates that Louv wanted to have a connection with the audience, by using words like “we” and “us”. By giving this detailed explanation of how things used to be, and how car rides were more appreciated by children, he shows that today’s kids are missing out on a whole world of experiences that can be found just outside of a car window.
Good thesis, I would take out the word excellently.
DeleteYes, he uses nostalgia, and you give a good example of that. He is appealing to the decision makers, trying to make them feel like for the sake of convenience, they are cheating their kids. It is a guilt trip of sorts, right? I like your closing sentence. It is pretty, and that is something you do well.
An attempt at an idea driven thesis, but you fell into listing the strategies.
DeleteBy drawing comparison and injecting humor into his nostalgic essay, Richard Louv invites his audience to join him in his pining for America’s lost connection with nature.
ReplyDeleteOne way in which Louv demonstrates his argument is by creating a connection with the audience through nostalgic imagery and whimsical syntax. In his concluding paragraph he draws his readers in by painting a, likely familiar, picture using examples such as drawing on the fogged glass of the car window and playing mind games, like counting cows in a field (lines 62-67). This example allows many members of his audience to reminisce on their younger selves. Additionally, Louv relies on clever word choice to carry his essay to a beautiful place. For example, describing the horizon as “reverent,” or stating that the toy cars were also “racing toward some unknown destination,” Louv turns once, rather mundane, childhood car rides into wonderful memories (lines 65-71). Wrapping, somewhat normal, sights in dreamy words allows Louv to strike the hearts of his readers; ultimately rallying his audience to see his point, in that, America is rapidly losing touch with nature. It’s undeniable that technology has begun to far out-way nature in the race to grab the attention of younger generations. Louv is undoubtably successful in inspiring thought. By using the techniques that he did, he truly pushes the idea that it is important for kids nowadays, to also spend time with nature or simply look out the car window.
Oh I really like the thesis! It really sets you up to write a fantastic analysis. Because you classify the essay as nostalgic, you can point that out throughout the analysis which is a good idea. I like the last sentence. You are right, he's not asking parents to take kids to a cabin in the woods, he's just asking them to make them look out the car window. That is not something I thought of prior to reading this. You do a nice job supporting your claim with evidence from the text, plus you use sophisticated vocabulary! Killing it!
DeleteIdea driven thesis
DeleteLouv, appealing to both sensory and imagery, presents the ever-growing disconnection from the natural world.
ReplyDeleteRichard Louv informs his audience of the genetic modification of butterflies to initially grab their attention. This tactic of vivid imagery remains evident through the excerpt. The tense changes throughout, from future to present to past. Tense change is powerful element in this piece, it brings a nostalgic tone. The new technology in automobiles continue to sever humanity’s ties with their surroundings. Though the “backseat peace” may be a godsend for parents, their children are getting more screen time. People have been trying to significantly reduce their own and their children’s screen time for years, so why send a mixed message? Road trips are for the views, not to numb ones mind with television or video games. Louv uses lines 45-73 to support his thesis. To conclude, Louv recalls his own fond memories of his surroundings on childhood road trips, truly driving his message of loss of connection to nature.
Louv appeals to the readers sensibilities by using sensory details and imagery as he presents his displeasure with the disconnect between man and nature. I think something like this might make it more pointed. Be sure to use good, solid verbs and to fully develop your thoughts.
DeleteI like that you begin with Louv's informative approach to very scientific example. He starts out in a very technical tone, but that quickly shifts. I think the butterfly example really provides the essay with a contrast as he moves to anecdotes shortly after. Make sure you aren't summarizing. Some examples of tense change would be good, or maybe separating the tone shifts and using those to drive your analysis. Good start.
Device driven thesis. Here is the url for the thesis video
Deletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPJGDf0LmOA&list=PLoGgviqq4845w6_VxQLtAmVypmSMtTd0r&index=15&t=827s
Thesis Statement:
ReplyDeleteBy incorporating imagery that contrasts the past with the present, asking thoughtful rhetorical questions, and providing facts and his own refreshing incite, Richard Louv reveals his critical tone towards the diminishing connection between people and nature because of technology. Louv begins in a dismayed tone, but then shifts to a nostalgic one to encourage people to reconnect with nature.
Body Paragraph:
To demonstrate the differences between the past and present way of appreciating nature, Richard Louv uses vivid imagery. He remarks how many children now have the opportunity to “watch Sesame Street or play Grand Theft Auto on their PlayStation (Lines 39-43),” thanks to “parents who are willing to pay a premium for a little backseat peace (Lines 36-37). These lines show how the children are also detached from their parents rather than just nature. The image of children occupied with technology in the backseat is contrasted immediately with several images of children in simpler times who use their fingers to draw on foggy windows because of boredom. Additionally, the children of the past, including Louv himself, would “observe birds on the wires and combines in the field, were fascinated with roadkill, and watch telephone poles tick by (Lines 64-67)”. Louv, and children his age, were able to appreciate the nature that surrounded him as he rode in his family’s car. Unlike today’s children, he was able to do this because he was free from the distractions of technology.
Chelsea that's a great thesis!
DeleteAnd yes, I think he is hitting the parents hard with guilt in the example of back seat peace. It was smart to use that quote. And then to suggest that they kids are detached from their parents is smart! He doesn't come right out and say that, but I think he infers it! Its bold! I like it! THis is a great paragraph! Well done.
Idea driven thesis
DeleteRichard Louv uses stories in varying patterns to help support the main topic that there is a growing separation between people and nature due to the growing popularity of technology.
ReplyDeleteTo help support his topic, Louv implements relatable stories about children and childhood to help prove his statement. To show the effects of technology the second paragraph starts with a story about a woman buying a new car. She did not want her child to have a television in the back seat because younger generations are not able to experience the world the way their parents have. “But for a century, children’s early understanding of how cities and nature fit together was gained from the backseat: the empty farmhouse at the edge of the subdivision; the variety of architecture”, this quote added some emotion to the idea that children’s lives are very different (limes 47-53). By using the example of a simple car ride he can make an impactful statement to support his main idea. Then Louv uses the rhetorical tool of switching to a story of the future by saying, “Perhaps we’ll someday tell our grandchildren stories about our version of the nineteenth-century Conestoga wagon” (line 57-59). This line can be seen as somewhat serious because in the future life will be very different for our children. The way we lived will seem strange enough to be told as a story.
I think in the thesis changing the word popularity to dependency would make it much better. Technology isn't just popular, in Louv's opinion, right? It is causing us to be disordered, especially in regard to how we interact with our natural world. I like that you say he uses varying stories, because really, that is what makes up the piece. The stories are very different, but together, they lead the reader in a logical pattern to what I would call, "shame". Also wise is the way you differentiated the stories by what tense they were in. Good thinking. You also embedded quotes, a pro move.
DeleteRichard Louv uses multiple rhetorical devices such as anecdotes and tense shifts to exemplify the way people use and exploit nature to result in a loss of connection with the natural world.
ReplyDeleteA main persuasive tool used is anecdote. Louv uses stories and personal experience to convey the way nature used to be admired and appreciated especially from young eyes (lines 54-55). He states that parents push and push to drive kids away from technology, yet install it in ways that derives attention away from our world's natural beauty, such as televisions in cars (lines 43-45). Additionally, tactics such as tense shifts help show that this has been an effect of how technology is changing over time. His story starts in the present, how advertisers capitalize on the environment to their own advantage (lines 10-23). It shifts to the past, and how previously stated, things like television in cars were not prominent or necessary (lines 35-37). The story concludes in the future, when children are shocked at the way nature was previously admired. This proves the point that it is being taken for granted.
This is a good thesis. It gets the job done and would get the point. So you make good points, but you shove them all into one paragraph which leads to the points in the paragraph not being fully developed. Writing about his anecdotes is good, and I think you can incorporate the verb shifts into he analysis,but feels a little disjointed. If you unfolding his logic chronologically, it would work. But when the tense shift don't support the analysis of different anecdotes, it is too much of a shift for it to be in the same analysis paragraph. Maybe would be better separate. But both points are very insightful.
DeleteDevice driven thesis
Deletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPJGDf0LmOA&list=PLoGgviqq4845w6_VxQLtAmVypmSMtTd0r&index=15&t=827s
By drawing on the audience's nostalgia and through the use of tone, Richard Louv highlights society's loss of connection with the natural world.
ReplyDeleteRichard Louv uses nostalgia to connect with the audience and to demonstrate the issue at hand. He begins by talking about the technological innovations of the future. He includes a personal story about a friend who buys a car (lines 24-34). In this story, a car salesman cannot understand why Louv's friend wouldn't want a television screen for her daughter in the backseat. This allows Louv to set up his argument, involving the disconnect with a large part of the audience's childhood, staring out the window of the car at the natural world. He uses this narrative to begin making his claims, such as "children's early understanding of how cities and nature fit together was gained from the backseat," (lines 47-50). He follows this with a closing paragraph that is packed with nostalgia and sure to cause the audience to reflect on their own experiences in the back seats of their parents' cars. By using the audience's emotions to make them reflect upon such a large part of their childhood, Louv easily highlights the importance of the connection with nature.
I would say "sense of nostalgia" in the introduction, but that is splitting hairs. It is a good thesis.
DeleteThe story about the lady with the car is a great one to point out. I think he does it as if to say, you idiots are robbing your children of an experience we were all privileged to have because you want them to be quiet and not bother you. Rather than "packed with nostalgia", you should cite a few examples. He does, indeed, appeal the the emotions, the pathos of the audience. I was looking for someone to move passed nostalgia to show that he is also snarky and sarcastic, right? This is a good paragraph, I'm just pushing you because I can.
Idea driven thesis
Delete
ReplyDeleteBy using vivid imagery and nostalgic stories, Louv humorously beckons Americans to acknowledge the widening separation between people and nature.
Richard Louv tells the story of a friend and her efforts at trying to buy a new car. She was looking for something nice and even settled on one with a Global Positioning System. Besides the intriguing features, she did not want backseat television monitors for her daughter, astounding the salesman. In lines 36-37, Louv’s friend says the target market for these television monitors are, “parents who will pay a premium for a little backseat peace.” She went on, describing more features of such systems. This shows, not only children’s detachment from the world, but the parents’ willingness to allow their children to become so detached. Louv then shifts to nostalgia, recounting his times as a child and how he, essentially, learned and observed about the world from the backseat. In lines 49-50, Louv describes long ago that, “children’s early understanding of how cities and nature fit together was gained from the backseat.” The technology that exists today does not allow today’s children to gain such an impactful understanding. Louv’s story of the old days and having a “drive-by movie” in the car, instead of being glued to a screen, furthers the point of modern detachment and disregard for nature.
I love that you use the verb phrase humorously beckons. Made my day. That is a good thesis which in a very nuanced way opens up what you might include in the body of this analysis.
ReplyDeleteCareful not to summarize the story. We know what he said, but focus on why and how he did it. The phrase that hits me in this paragraph is, "parents' willingness to allow their children to become so detached". I have been waiting for someone to get that. It really stands out as THE essential point in this analysis. The beginning of the paragraph is a little too much summary, but you make up for it at the end. Fantastic!
Idea driven thesis
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